Goodbye 2009.

2009 had been nothing but bittersweet. but i'll call it rather sorrowful. 2009 is a year that i'll never forget. the year where i lost a very important person in my life and that is my mother. never did i expected this would come. i thought she would have a long life but i was wrong. Allah love her more than anyone else and so she had to leave us for a better place.

my friends kept telling me to move on but i cant seem to pull through fully yet. im still in disbelieve of what had happened. i was indeed rude to her weeks before she was admitted to the hospital. never it occurred in my mind that she was suffering badly. i was too selfish to myself and was too focus in school that i neglected her health risk. i have myself to blame bcoz all i think was about MISB and the SYF.

MISB is already giving me pressure for the SYF. because of that i was rude to mother. i thought i was able to make up for it after SYF but i was wrong. i was too late.

i could still remember my last moment with mother. the day before she left, she had high fever. she was too weak to talk to us but she was able to look and stare at us. me, sis and daddy was all by her side and all she could do was to stare at us. i fed her 3 spoonful of food and 2 bottles of tonic water. that was the only thing i last did for her.

never it occurred to me that it was my last time with mother. as we all left, i bid my final farewell to her. at that point of time, i felt something was not right. who would have thought, the next morning she left us all. we were all in disbelief but we cant do anything as she had left us to a better place.