my tummy is giving me problems. its either diarrhoea or food poisoning or gastric. im not sure which one but its been 3days already. i just got the medicine and hoping to get well soon. if all else fail, i'll approach the doc. hopes nothing goes wrong. :(

last night i had a dream. i dreamt of late mummy.

i was in the kitchen making a cup of coffee. i turn to my right and i saw late mummy in her usual sleeping dress walking towards me. its as tho she just bath and is heading towards the washing machine to wash clothes.

i was in a confuse state. i dont know what i was doing but i was actually shouting for her. i shout out "MAMA!" but at that instant i was aware that she had moved on but i was shouting for her. i could feel that in this dream, i was both scared and happy. my heart ache....

i mean come on. its a dream and it feels so real. you know very well that your love ones had moved on. out of a sudden you see her in the kitchen with you. so its either you feel happy or scared. :(

dear society,

can i just be a full time performer? can i be a personal photographer?

can i just do a service job? service as in serve as a performer or just a photographer.

"Hi! Cookies for you ma'am/sir?"

"buy 300 get 60gram free"

"payment by nets, would you like to buy 400 and get 100 free?"

that is basically some of the things i had to SAY to the customers. HAHA!

ouh yes, i've been occupying myself with work. work work work. ouh dang! for the sake of getting myself busy and MONEY! i've to work. lol.

so far, im getting the hang of it. this job is better than my 2 previous jobs BUT! the pay is lower than my 2 other previous jobs. HAHA! ouh well....

i do miss schooling tho. everytime when i reach compass point to go work, theres always ALOT of students. well basically they end school when i've to work. all thanks to night shift. tsk! basically it brings back memory of my sec sch days....HAHA!

i always keep my friday off from work. so that i could either go back MI for band or for a date with my friends. :)

so people! if you wanna have a date with me, better get your FRIDAY free... or else i wouldnt be bothered to entertain your request. :)

i was actually reading back all of my post in this faithful blog. how time flies and many things had happened in my life. it was indeed a so called repeated scene.

in a minute you were happy, the next minute you were sad.

as time flies, things change. dont you agree?

i was reading through the post and i came across the poems. a poems given by an unknown someone. that someone who is concerned enough to cheer me up. a stranger from afar.

well i do not know this person but the poems given by this person was indeed nice. i was down at that time when this person pops up by my tagboard and tag a poem for me. this person is known as Kay. just Kay. i wonder who are you really....how do you even find my blog...?

im just curious. :)

ahh...yes. im in the life or working. so dont bother asking me out on weekdays for i wont be able to attend to you guys. except for one day, FRIDAY. its the only day that i'm off.

each week i'll work about 4-5 days but FRIDAY is confirm im off. HAHAH!

i really miss school. the fact that i went back to visit MISB on friday, i seriously miss all those fun i had with my classmates. im glad i met them as i walk around the school. they sure gave me a BIG TIGHT HUG. :)

I LOVE BIG HUGS! :)

i was eating dinner alone at home when the cloud turned grey. it was about to rain. from bright to dark, lighting starts to strike. i was scared. i was eating my dinner when i see few bright strikes of lights from my window. it was scary. i've never felt this scared before. i stop eating and i shut my eyes and cover my ears. i don't know why but i was all scared. tears start to roll down my checks as i prayed to Allah.

like seriously, i dont know why i was all scared and i felt as if i was abandoned by my family. i was all alone at home, eating dinner like a loner. it was raining with lightning and thunder and i was all scared.

i tried my best to stay calm and i pray to Allah to protect me.

how i wish theres someone for me now. :(

looking back at the saved old photos do brings back memory. why i said saved? well bcoz majority of my baby and young photos were gone. thanks to daddy. i only managed to save some. in which only an album and that only consist of the 2/3 year old me with late mom celebrating sis 5/6 birthday. how time flies and apparently i dont remember any of those events. sad. i was still young at that time and i hardly rmb any. only certain picture i could remember the events.

some memories are meant to be remembered while some is best to be forgotten. i had too many happy and painful moments. it leads to what i am today. no matter how much effect it is on me, i have to move on. sooner or later, i'll forget about the past and remember the latest.

i can choose to remember or forget about it. its my decision.

the job hunt for the past few days was indeed tiring. lots of walking and guts were done. all the interviewing and waiting for call shits is freaking annoying.

so Mus and Rose gotten their job. now left me, waiting for a call from the manager for an interview. so there, i doubt i'll get the job fast coz manager love to take their own sweet time to decide. irritating.

Fanfiction. i think im beginning to draw myself near it. you dont need dslr to produce an excellent picture. Digital camera do comes in handy. Digital camera can do the same thing like how dslr did. all you need is actually your eyes and your intelligent. every eye have their own way of capture the beautiful scene or pose.

till then, i miss school.

if only money would just fall instantly from the skies, then i wouldnt mind taking up private courses. apparently, that is way way impossible. sis suggested to take up some certs as a first step. but the problem is i seriously do not know whats my interest. there are too many and i cant stick to one.

if i truly have long long life, then i wouldnt mind taking my time taking up those skills. EH! no no, don't get the wrong idea of short life. im just saying, i wouldnt mind taking up many courses if i have long life. the problem is, we all dont know how long we can live in this world.

i miss attending school in MI. if not at this time, i would be cracking my brain out with my classmates for the deadly A'lvls. if i were to still continue in MI, i would be in my Year 3 already. sadly, domestic problems kept occurring and i cant keep myself focus.

now that im no longer schooling, i feel so hopeless.

dont worry, i am still contemplating to continue studying but not early this year. i need to get a job and get my own pocket money first. :)

one thing for sure, i will still be a musicians.

2010, i cant seem to see what lies in 2010 for me. worst still, i cant see myself in the future! OMG! haiyo....school is starting soon for my fellow millennians. which means i wont get to meet them that often now. :(

ouh well, its time for me to get a job now. gonna go for job hunting with Rose on monday. hopefully i'll get one asap. in time like this, i cant be fussy. sigh...

i would love to go back to ECP and enjoy the night cycle again. :)

when it comes to monday, people will have monday blue. but not my monday. i called my monday, Green Monday. well basically because i wore green. in addition, daddy wore green too. plus more people at ECP wore green. HAHA!

i had bbq at ECP yesterday and it was indeed fun. better and funnier than the previous one. ok, maybe coz i got my camera with me? HAHA! the view was so nice.

apparently, the rain just love to ruin our bbq. there was a time where i set the fire already and suddenly it start to drizzle. irritating! so we end up let the fire go off by the rain and wait for the rain to stop. this time, we managed to bbq the food nicely! it was tastefully done! YES! HAHA!

i stayed over there with Yvonne and Huimin. ouh no no, we dont tent there, we cycled from spot to spot. night cycling. :)

from the pavilion to the beautiful open space by the beach to catch the PLANE and SUNRISE! apparently, the dark clouds was covering the sun so we couldnt catch the sunrise fully. damn it!

today, i should say, Pissing Tuesday. everything seems to be pissing me off. 1st, it was the housework. i dont know what happen yesterday but i know sis didnt work. apparently she did not do the housework. so, with my tired eyes and body, i forced myself to complete the housework first b4 sleeping.

2nd, i wanted to upload the pics, but the laptop is taking way too much time to upload. so i had to stop everything and off the laptop. 3rd, my air-con is leaking. i had no choice but to use the fan instead of the aircon. i told daddy about it and he did NOTHING!

lastly, my ulcer is killing me! im having a hard time chewing the food or even drink! damn it!

ouh well, i'll be meeting J&D 2mr. history trip, here i come. :)